The Real Test of your Communication, is the Response you ReceiveOct 18, 2020
Communication is a cycle that usually involves a minimum of two people. It’s hard to communicate to another person if they are asleep or at worst dead!
For the communication cycle to work you must have the willing participation of the two parties in the communication exchange. It usually works like this;
- You say something,
- the other person thinks briefly about what’s been said and
- They give a response.
Of course, other things play a part in this exchange - your body posture, facial expressions and your gestures. Not only that, your behavioural preferences have an impact on the cycle of communication.
At Integrus, we have identified four unique communication styles associated with our four-colour behavioural system. Let’s have a quick look at how each of the four colours may communicate.
If you are a Red, you will get straight to the point and say what needs to be said. A red will rarely engage in social niceties first and will often open the conversation with exactly what they want or need.
A Yellow on the other hand will open the conversation with anything but the topic at hand. They will ask, “How are you?”, or perhaps “What about this heatwave?”, or even “It’s such a lovely day, I almost didn’t come to work!” Only after the niceties have been performed will they wind their way around to the topic.
A Green will be more deferential and respectful, they will make sure the other person is comfortable, has everything they need, even offering tea/coffee/cake before broaching the topic of conversation. They are very good listeners and engage readily once they sense everyone is comfortable.
A Blue is likely to be well prepared for a conversation, will have a list of prepared questions, though this list may be in their head, they will take the time to ask them until they are satisfied, they have the information they need. At a meeting they will likely sit quietly, listening carefully and may only offer a comment if they are asked to contribute. Once they contribute though it becomes obvious that they have been keeping up.
When all these factors are taken into account, it’s hard to NOT communicate. You will convey a message even if you remain silent. Recognising that communication is so important in all that we do the question is often asked; “How can I communicate better?”
The answer of course is to understand the other person’s colour first and then communicate to them in the way they prefer to communicate. Ultimately, the meaning of communication is the response that you get.
To enable the best response, you must enter the cycle whilst appreciating the other person’s colour preference. The simplest way to do this is to be chameleon-like and be a little like them. Communication flows so much easier when two people understand their colour preference and are in rapport. Matching the other person’s colour preference creates good communication and good communication creates trust.
Don’t know what colour you are?
To find out your colour, take this free colour report, https://www.integrus.online/colours-lindsay
Successful communicators create rapport and you can do so too simply by observing your communication patterns. Most people have these skills, the secret is to refine them for everyday use. The starting point is to first understand your own colour preference and then identify the other person’s colour preference. Remember when people are like each other they begin to actually like each other.
Keep an open mind about being chameleon-like and give it a try next time you begin a conversation with someone. Notice what happens when you don’t match your communication partners style, notice what happens when you do. Notice particularly what happens when you deliberately do the opposite of what they do. This is called a mismatching. Mismatching is just as useful if you need to disengage with someone.
Remember being chameleon-like is your choice and only you will know the results if you try it.
This content is produced by Lindsay Adams OAM, CEO Asia Pacific.
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